It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Michael Bay diarrhea
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
areolas are like halos for boobs.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
