he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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