I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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