Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
