I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
