My sheets look like a crime scene.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
two words: eviction party
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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