So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
