Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
