..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
