I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Semen is not good for contacts.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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