There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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