omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
