People in love make me want to vomit
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
