Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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