i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
