Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
