I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
