Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
