I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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