Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
