Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
