ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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