well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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