why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
