I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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