she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
