Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
