margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
