my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize