So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
