Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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