I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
