hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
