He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
