whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
