I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
