i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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