Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
