But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
