I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
