this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
