not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You are a genius and a whore.
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