I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
