There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
