I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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