clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
