There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I think my fart just growled at me.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
