if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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