i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize