Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
