i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
