It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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