your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
