Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
