she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
