whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
