I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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