Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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