Buhtt sex?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
