I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
