it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize