I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
No I am not eating basil off your cock
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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